so blue

A couple weeks ago, I was SO motivated to work out, and eat well, and make a change. Then this challenge came up at the sisterhood. And I thought GREAT, this is just what I need to keep that fire going and help me stay accountable.

And now my husband’s away for the week, and the kids are cranky, and I’m cranky. I don’t know how I’m going to fit in brushing my teeth, much less workout. I had all these noble intentions for while he’s gone: salad and chickpeas for lunch every day! super-healthy suppers! workout every day! long walks with the kids!

I never realized that I was an emotional eater before. I thought I was just an overeater, and hence the weight problem. But right now, I’ve got to tell you, I don’t want to snack on a damn apple. I don’t want to munch on carrot sticks and hummus. I want a bag of potato chips — the salt and vinegar ones that the kids hate so I don’t have to share. Not because I’m really hungry, because I’m only mildly so. But because I’m unhappy and stressed and that seems like the best way to deal with it.

Luckily, we don’t have anything like that in the house, and I’ve decided not to go to the store while I’m feeling like this. Still. It’s been a rough day. Made rougher by the realization that I let my emotions control me and my health.

I’d been hoping to log two pounds this Wednesday. Right now I’ll be pleased if I just break even. Sorry, BLUE TEAM. I’m doing my best.

Can we consider cleaning house and wrestling with kids exercise this week? Because, honestly, I don’t know that I’ll get to anything else. It’s rainy and miserable, so a long getaway-type walk is out of the question. At least for today.